In my last blog I mentioned that I emailed a church. I'm not really sure if I actually expected a reply or not, still I was surprised when I did get a reply.
Here is how the email conversations went, the only edits in the messages is taking out the Church and the church elder's names, just for the churches privacy I will call the person who replied John, and the church will be referred to only as The Church
Good Day
I drive past posters of your church everyday. I would like to attend a service.
I am a lesbian and in a committed relationship with my partner. We both love God, but don't always feel welcome in church because of our sexual orientation. I used to go to a church in "a neighboring town" where all sexuality's were welcomed, but church times don't fit in with my partners working schedule so we are unable to attend.
Are you accepting of gays in your church? Will we be able to attend without prejudice?
Regards
The Reply:
Thank you so much for your email...
We hold the conviction that Everyone is Welcome to attend our Celebrations. We believe that God placed "The Church" in "this Town" so that people can see & experience Jesus.
We have a few people attending our Sunday Celebrations that practice homosexuality. We treat everyone the same. Even though we believe that Homosexuality is not God's will, we still see it as a privilege to host people and share the Gospel of Jesus with them... In the same way, people attend our Celebrations who have problems with addictions like alcohol, pornography or greed. We accept everyone into our Celebrations, but ask people to respect our family by not engaging in these activities in our building.
When it comes to formal partnership with people and them being prayed into partnership of "The Church" - We lovingly encourage everyone to turn their backs on their sin and focus on becoming like Christ.
If you want to know more:
Go to our website and listen to a teaching I did on "God's Heart for Sexuality".
Thanks again
"John"
Lead Elder
"The Church"
My Reply
Hi "John"
Thank you very much for the reply.
I sincerely appreciate the fact that you host "practicing homosexuals". I believe that many gay people are in need of acceptance from churches. Many gay people are scared away from God and discard God because of prejudice that they have faced at churches, so it truly makes me happy to know that you have gays in your church and that they are welcome.
What saddens me though is the fact that you draw a parallel between being gay and having an addiction. Being gay can't be compared to someone who is for instance addicted to pornography, alcohol, drugs, etc. It shows to me the typical fundamentalist thinking in a modern society.
I believe being gay is written into our DNA it's who we are it is definitely not a lifestyle choice. If it were I would certainly have chosen the opposite, it would have spared me allot of therapy sessions and 1-000-000's of tears.
I haven't had a chance to listen to your mentioned teaching yet but as soon as I have a chance I will.
Feel free to also read my blog, the posts entitled "My Roman Battle" and the follow up "Conquering Romans", might just enlighten you.
http://pikkie89.blogspot.com/
Have a great day and lovely weekend.
We might see each other soon.
The reason I put the words "practicing homosexuals" in quotation marks is because I don't really understand exactly what is meant by it. If there is a thing like a practicing homosexual, then surely there must be something like a practicing heterosexuals as well? In my mind the only logical explanation is something like this:
My mom is totally straight - NO doubt about the fact that she LOVES men. Yet she has been single for a very long time. Apart from the fact that she is full of crap when it comes to men, I think she's just used to being totally independent.
My dad on the other hand, has been married to my stepmother for almost the same amount of time as my mom has been single.
Now I think we have established that both my parents are heterosexual... but does this mean that my mom isn't a practicing heterosexual? and if she isn't a practicing heterosexual what exactly is she then? Or does it just mean that my dad is more of a heterosexual than my mom, and does the fact that he has been married to a woman for all these years make him a practicing heterosexual?
......GEEEEEZ this is confusing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It feels difficult to even type the words "practicing homosexual" because in my opinion it is ridiculous Your either Gay or Straight...
My first thought when I read John's reply was that I was truly happy that they accept gays in their church, as I read on there was the part about "not engaging in these activities in our building", The first thing that crossed my mind was; If we decide to go to a Sunday service at this Church, how exactly will I be "not gay" for an hour or two? I'ts easy to ask a drug addict not to take drugs in their building, But being gay is who I am, its in my DNA - how can I be "not gay" in their building? It's the same as asking me not to be white in their building. And then I wondered how the other "practicing homosexuals" in their church did it? And the following thought crossed my mind "how can these "practicing homosexuals" feel welcome in a place where they aren't allowed to be themselves? "
I tried to be as objective as I possibly could and later that evening I played the sermon "John" was talking about. As it went on I could feel the tension building up from my partners side. She didn't say anything but I knew she wished I would just shut it off because it came from a huge fundamentalist point of view.
The sermon started with "John" explaining that the sermon isn't about homosexuality but rather about Gods heart for sexuality. In my mind a tactic not to scare of those "practicing homosexuals" straight away. He went on to say that sex is designed to show intimacy to bind two people to become one and that sex is to glorify God. He went on to talk about all kinds of sexual immoralities, bestiality, fornication, adultery and of-course homosexuality. He also said that there is no difference between someone engaging in homosexuality and someone engaging in bestiality or adultery etc. Now I seriously just need to say this - My girlfriend and I making love is not in any way the same as some guy putting is "thing" into an animal, nor is it the same as someone fooling around with a prostitute behind their partners back.
When we make love we do become one, we share such a deep intimacy that it can't be explained. It is such a beautiful moment and experience - I can not let it be made into something ugly by allowing it to be compared to bestiality, fornication, adultery or any of the other sexually immorality, because when a gay couple are truly committed to one another and they make love, there is nothing sexually immoral about it.
When he spoke about homosexuality he read the very same passage that I once used to condemn myself. I honestly got a little smile on my face, because the verse he used to show that homosexuality is wrong, was also the first part of my homosexual salvation message that God revealed to me. There was one problem though, he only read Romans 1:26-27 a very small part of a big passage, the same mistake I had made with the same passage.
And then he played a testimony of a guy who was under the impression that he was gay, but later realized that the only reason he thought he was gay was because of everything that happened in his childhood and with God's help he turned straight. Now why would John choose to share this testimony with the congregation when the sermon wasn't about homosexuality?
If the guy who gave the testimony truly believes that he wasn't really gay to start with even though he lived a gay lifestyle, then I believe him and I am happy that God helped him find his way to be straight now. But unfortunately that is not the case for me and millions of other gays out there. Churches hear these kinds of testimonies and figure that all gays are the same, all gays can be fit into that box. By using the same methods they do to get an addict to be sober, they try to push gays into a direction that would ultimately just make them unhappy and have them lying to themselves and to God about who they really are. And I know these churches mean well by subtly trying to convert gays and praying away the gay, but they do it because they don't understand a gay persons mind and feelings, they don't understand that this is who we were born to be, God made us this way and God never makes mistakes.
By trying to do good these types of churches could do more harm than any good. If I were still an uncertain gay teen trying to figure out how my sexuality and Christianity fit together, and I had heard that sermon and testimony, my whole world would have came tumbling down. All of the questions would have arised again and I would have blamed God for helping the guy in the testimony be straight but leaving me to be gay - Which could have ultimately caused me to drift away from God and straight into the enemy's arms.
So now I know that the "practicing homosexuals" attending this church, can't feel completely welcome and at ease, and even though John does not admit it, they are one of those typical fundamentalist-pray-away-the-gay-churches. Except for openly gay churches, I'm starting to wonder if you get any other kind of church than the typical fundamentalist-pray-away-the-gay-churches.
My mom is a huge inspiration to me, we can talk for hours about life and and everything in it. A while ago when my mom was visiting us we were up after midnight, being all philosophical, talking about God and life, and out of this conversation my mom said something interesting, she said that she believes that because God knows each one of us as an individual, he will judge us in that manner. And that kind of got stuck in my mind, for a few days afterwards I found myself pondering over this Idea, because it just made so much sense. And then one night I opened my bible at a random place and started reading, I was shocked! I couldn't believe it, it was like God was confirming what my mom and I had talked about:
ROMANS 9
14 What shall we say then? Is there unrighteousness with God? Certainly not!15 For He says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whomever I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whomever I will have compassion.”[f] 16 So then it is not of him who wills, nor of him who runs, but of God who shows mercy. 17 For the Scripture says to the Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I may show My power in you, and that My name may be declared in all the earth.”[g] 18 Therefore He has mercy on whom He wills, and whom He wills He hardens.
Once again Romans. I Love Romans. Out of all the bible books it's like God chose Romans to speak to me specifically. God has answered me in many ways but it seems like when He chooses to speak to me through the Bible, He always uses Romans. - God will have mercy on whomever he chooses, even if someone fails to meet the requirements of a "typical good Christian" in mans judgement, God has the last say. So I think for my own sanity (and my girlfriend's for that matter) I will rather skip going to this Church, keep praying at home and singing along to the praise and worship music in my car. I will keep living my life as I am loving God and believing that he accepts me, His lesbian child. I do not need acceptance from a church who will clearly disprove of my lifestyle and the way I choose to serve God.
In the end all that matters is God and what He thinks of me and my lifestyle, because only His love and mercy can set me free.
